like looking for an 80 mph needle in a skyscraper haystack

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted. My life has changed a lot. Roller derby is still a part of it, but I’ve gotten busier in general. My job consumes me (in a good way) and I constantly pursue social situations outside of that. I just love everything. We only have one life, and I want to live it as much as I can.

I’ve been shedding the old skin, the things that have held me down for too long. It feels good, to finally take off the blindfold and see that I am an amazing person and there are so many other amazing people that I want to share things with. I used to want to make a mark on people, give them something to remember for the rest of their lives so that I stick out in the muck of it all. But now, I just want to have those memories of others for myself. Because all we really have in this life… all that we are, are memories. And the love, caring, and laughter of the people around us are what make it.

So I am cleaning my life out, like an old dusty attic. I don’t need much. Decorations are over-rated. This room will get used, despite the sparse dressings, and I’m perfectly happy with that.

Anyway! Back to the roller derbs! It’s been almost a year and a half since I started. When I look back, I am amazed and impressed at myself. I went to an open skate last wednesday, and as I went to grab a drink, a woman came up to me and proceeded to tell me that I am an amazing skater and she had been watching me all night. It made me feel wonderful.

The team I skate with skates a bit different from others. Our coach tries to teach us to be skaters who play roller derby, rather than roller derby players who skate. The two things sound similar, but they are definitely not. We take different moves from all over. We use tricks from figure skaters, jam skaters, speed skaters, etc. We mostly skate with jam plugs instead of toe-stops. Some teams find this hard to do, but I learned to skate with jam plugs and I feel that sometimes when I use toe-stops, my mobility is limited. One good thing about toe-stops is the tomahawk stop. A stop which I only started learning to do about a month ago. It’s an awesome way to stop fast, I have to admit. Also! Using the toe-stops for a jammer start can be pretty amazing too, when compared to the duck-walk. I’m split on the whole toe-stop thing.

The only sad thing about my life at this time, is that I messed up my knee a while back and it’s still an issue. It is slowly getting better, but I was told that it was a deep tissue bruise and that healing would take a long time. I’ve waited so long outside of scrimmage, that I’ve gotten used to looking in from the sidelines. I’m almost scared to jump back in, even though I know I must. I do miss it terribly. Hopefully tomorrow will be my re-introduction into the pack.

Goodnight for now!

This is it.

I think this is where I belong. I think I’ve been yearning for this without knowing it. I keep wondering what I did before I started playing roller derby and I honestly don’t know.

Our last bout was a little over two weeks ago. We lost 117 to 100, but considering the odds I think we did pretty well. Us newer girls (3 including me) weren’t able to play so we only had six girls that could play on the track. Like I said, our league is small. Only the few determined athletes stay for long.

Derby mommy says I have to be ready for our April bout because we have to have a minimum of 7 players. Whether or not I’d play in the bout I’m not sure, but at least I’ll be sitting on the bench. It’s terribly exciting.

The only thing I’m having problems with is my job interfering with open skates. Open skates are where I can really focus on certain things I’m trying to improve and I haven’t been able to practice those things, so it’s getting frustrating.

We actually had a practice and scrimmage on Sunday with a league 3 hours away, so it was fun seeing what it’s like to skate with a higher number of girls out on the floor. Coach M lead our workout and drills. The girls said, “no wonder your league has such amazing endurance and beautiful legs.” And I have to agree, Coach M works us pretty hard. Though I wholeheartedly appreciate it.

The falling onto the rump.

Practice has been intense recently. I like it.

We’ve really been working hard on our endurance. Our team is very small at the moment (we’re recruiting!), so that means we have to work harder to make up for the subs that we don’t have. I’m guessing I wont be playing in the first few bouts of 2011. They say I’ll pass the tests easily, but the tests aren’t what I’m worried about.

I fall more often than not and on multiple occassions our coach, Mike, has said, “Yeah! Good, Carmel!” I think he’s just trying to tell me he appreciates my effort. Because truly, I can be a real terror out there. And definitely not in the intimidating way.

Every couple practices or so, I choose a new thing to work on, and I work on it until I get it. Right now I’m working on 180˚ turns and 360˚ turns, while also working on skating backwards (because the two really go hand in hand). I figured out early that falling is an absolute necessity when you’re trying to learn these turns. So finally, after painfully overanalyzing it for way too long, I adjusted my nut cup (figuratively of course), took a deep breath, and swug around like a wild woman. Obviously, I fell on my ass, BUT it was a big step for me! It’s hard to get over the fear of falling and landing on that oh so susceptible rump (say that five times). But I have become so much more comfortable with trusting myself and my body.

Question from almostgood

Dancing on Tracks.

Here’s a couple photos of my best friend and I. She’s recently decided to join a derby team herself and is very excited!